it's just not fair.
What am i?a replacement?
i hate this school.
i never like this school.

And i dont feel good yesterday night.

I hope you'll realise how i felt these days :/

im done with OBS proposal.

Like so last minute?! And i didnt knew that we were suppose to send it to Mr Tan through email -.- (okay perhaps,myself)
But oh well, atleast i sent it already. AND! MANDY STILL DOESNT REPLY MY MSGS.

Anyway,i still owe Azlin SC official tee design ):
i'm so sorry Azlin. I wont delay the date again.
Just give me 1 more day.

Okay, i'm supposed to be on my bed now having my beauty sleep.

Been conference chat with Xian,Shawn and this time they added Priscilla in.
Always add me into conversation when both xian and shawn appear online.
And have i ever told you? That xian is superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-rrrr annoying.

"A Very Long conversation,full of xian's crappiness."


see?

Okay,sometimes they are kind of fun and nice people.
Ex-classmates~
missed those times.

goodnight!

Hello! Hello!
HAHA.
imma happy happy girl!
*skips around the room*

YUUHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
okay,nuts.

And im sorry that i haven't been updating my blog recently. Guess i'm just plain lazy or there's no time for me to blog. So dont expect many posts from me :P
I, only will update if i feel like it :D

Anyway,band practices had been fun nowadays! And im loving it more!
I'm gonna work hard and achieve my goals *makes a horny face*

Oh! i seriously never thought that my classmates can be hilarious. During english lesson, I was listening to Nano , Amirul, Wan, Farhan and Fifi's conversation. They were like prank calling Nano's phone. And his facial expression was totally funny okay! HAHAH,panicking like crazy. *inside joke*

Okay, sometimes it brings my mood up when they do silly things in class. JOKERS.

goodbye!

okay,im beginning to feel sad.
NO WAY! i aint gonna let that happen.

I just cant keep on denying that we're starting to drift apart day by day. And i DONT wanna believe that..

Oh please. I just wish...

im suppose to do my art batik design and my history essay now. But it turns out that ive been staring at the paper and fell asleep.

Woo!im good eh?hahah,nah kidding.

Anyway,today's school kinda suck when school ending. I ,seriously felt annoyed with the two words , " Holy God ." Cos my classmates had been argueing and keep saying like it doesnt mean anything, 'holy god!...suck dick!' i mean like what the hell?

To me it's not funny,no offence. And whats up with that 'holy god' thingy? Okay,blah. Sorry,im just pissed.

Ohoh! Malay class was hilarious. Mdm lorena was talking to us about our N levels and O levels and after.

Mdm lorena: Ahh,sesiape yang dapat agg 17 dan ke bawah masuk ke JC. Agg 17 Ke atas masuk ke poly. Dan agg 25 ke atas masuk ke ITE.
Hasnorsa: cikgu! Kalau tak nak masuk JC?
Mdm lorena: masuk pre-u lah. 3 tahun saja. Lepas pre-u masuk terus masuk universiti.
*kelas bising*
Mdm lorena: kalau tak dapat masuk universiti, then awak masuk u-never-study.
Fahmi: ah?ape tu u-never-study?
Mdm lorena: u-never-study tu YOU NEVER STUDY lah. Alamak,slow ah awak ni fahmi.
*fahmi looked blur*
*whole class burst out laughing*

lmao. Inside joke! :D
Okay,i should go now.
Byee!

Currently listening - 200 Pounds of Beauty-Dance with my daddy.

goshh, i just missed the old times. Really.
i mean with my friends.
Things hasn't been going very smoothly. Not like old times.
All of us were busy with loads of school stuffs. Hardly find time to enjoy.
Like seriously,this year has been a crazy one for me.
But i gotta persevere through this.
Well,i just wish everything could end fast and enjoy life.

the times that i missed!


trumpet section 06
(oo! my hair spikes! :D)


SOKHUI! her crappyness.


KHAIR! missed spending time with him..


SC camp! been so long i didnt attend SC camps..


the laughter i used to have..



anddd...

THIS!

missed! ):

theres alot that ive missed..just randomly picked.

woo, i just watched Hancock and Princess Diaries 2

Hancock was superb!
Princess Diaries was lovely!
Movie marathon cheered me up.
and im missing the feeling of being in love with someone.
okay scoop!
i dont know what the hell am i saying.

Anyway, i feel more relaxed and happy now.
Thanks azlin for all those encouragement and advices.
really wakes me up.

i just need time and support.
Definately we'll pull in through.
And we're all in this together right?


how lovely

Finally graduation is over.

and i dont know.
i am having a different feeling,not a good one though.

gosh, i guess im hurt in any way.
i dont whats the reason. Or maybe the inner side of me doesnt want me to know why.
i'm behaving in a very weird behaviour nowadays.
im sorry guys.
forgive me,please.

& i'm in really need of a warm big hug and love.

blah.
never feel better as days goes by..

2 more days to graduation.
and i'm still not ready.
i can't face my seniors..

i wanna say a big sorry to everyone.

just a big sorry to every single one of you, if i have ever done wrong or pisses you or anything.

i dont know why i am saying this,
but i just want to apologise before it's too late.

i'm feeling very very, as in really really sad now.
Graduation cum farewell party ceremony is drawing near,just a few days ahead.
And im not well prepared. I'm not ready for that day to come in this kind of situation that i am in..

i wont bother saying any of these anymore..

I teared again today after i locked up the band room today. And thanks glenn for being there for me. If it wouldnt be you,i'd probably be walking home alone,crying..

I was supposed to feel happy today. But whenever i'm with the band peeps,or they're around me, i feel uncomfortable and sad. And there goes my mood.

3 more days to for the seniors to step down ):

I,is sad.
my fault.
my fault.
my fault.
my fault.
my fault.
Bet everyone hates me.
my face is shit.
my face is always giving i-am-pissed-with-you-face.
i dont know.
might as well i dont take the lead.
cos i dont deserve it.
im not up to no good.
im sorry.

really lost my confidence.

oh, sorry for the previous post.
it was getting really annoying and i flared up just like that.

Is not that i am not aware of the band,
of course i AM aware.

I care for the band.
That's why i made changes and tried new ways to improve.
If i didnt care for the band, who will?
Most probly the band will go down the drain, like obviously.

And everyone isnt perfect. People are born to make mistake.
I'm not god or whoever.
i'm a HUMAN.
Human with feelings,sense,etc.
And humans do make mistake.

And whereas, my senior left me with nothing to lead the band.
I didnt have a clue of anything.
And now you're telling me that i do it wrongly,not suppose to do this way,blablabla.
how could you say that?

baggghh!-
sorry for those who i offended you people.






i am still trying my best to bring back the OLD JVCB.

i just viewed janice's friendster.

Looking at all her album photos, made me smile.
Just by looking at her photos it made my mind washed away all my troubles.

Sometimes when you look someone who has the sweetest smile on their face or people's laughter,it can brighten up your day..

Yeahh. Like janice,my flautist senior and amabel too. i lovee to see them smile :D
And yes, thinking over it again and again. I realised that i'm no more the happy-go-lucky type of person. I dont know where it'd gone to.

I tend to give faces,ignoring people or whatever when im not happy with something. Maybe because there's alot of new challenges added on to my life which i have to face it.

I'm like running away from reality. I dont like the way things has been happening now.

I missed the happy times i had.
I missed the laughters i had on top of my lungs.
I missed the people who usually hangout with.
I missed crapping and talking to my two very good friends like we used to.
I missed loads of things.
I just really missed feeling that way :/
and,





I missed the feeling of being happy ):
-

i wonder when will this tons of trouble of mine which has been disturbing my mind for the past few days ever stops haunting me. It's very annoying, really.

As you can tell, i'm stuck and feeling rather down.
I got feedbacks from a senior of mine about the band,which really really hurts me a lot.
I already have tons of troubles, and this came up, shot me down straight.
I brokedown for the past two days..

Oh, i felt offended. Because they felt that im overpowering the band into deyi way of style.
like wtknnfcb?!
My intention wasn't THAT.
Im really trying hard to bring up the band like how it was before back in 2005.
i gathered alot of other opinions or views and tried to fit in whats best..
but ... *sighs*

Like hello? can't you see that im like the middle person between teachers and seniors and alumni and members?!

THERE'S ALOT OF PRESSURE YOU KNOW.

you people should clearly know that the problem with the band is 'attitude'.

im trying my best to play my part well for the band.
and in the end i screwed up,
without any guidance.

i'm lost.
really really lost.
i seriously have no clue what to do now.
since you people said it that way.

i have lost my confidence.
-


Like i said, im running away from reality. I didnt talk much to any of my good friends today. I skipped recess duty, just to talk to Amabel and Nadya about it. And i even planned to skip general meeting. I just dont feel like talking to people. I just need an listening ear friend :/

ahh, talking about this makes me crazy.

Now im down with a flu,sore throat and more headaches.

I,DESPERATE TO BE HAPPY.
i shall try to put a mask on my face and keep on smiling :D
okay bye.




Sunshine is my happiness?

nobody knows how it feels like to be in my position
im no more effective now.

colours is the beauty of life.


im in no mood now,as always.
bye.