Her phone rang this morning,
her name appeared on her caller ID
her heart sank like as if something dropped inside an empty bucket,
her voice was soft or rather speechless when the caller speak
tried to talk like we used to,but her voice was fading away
pretending to stay strong still,but breakdown eventually on her 3rd call
tears filled in her eyes just by mentioning her name

Had a conversation last night with her most comfortable with bud
heartache throughout the conversation,her hands were trembling so strongly when she spilled everything
trying her best to control her emotions

She had a really hard time to bear all her burden,and she still doesn't care til now
how hurtful it may be,she is still holding on her second time...


(c)

I'm tearing at this minute now-


-


she take it as if it doesn't matter to me,
she wouldn't even care





and I'm still holding on.
trying my best not to breakdown.
but i failed.

annoyed by your name

Picture of the Day:

feat. Mandy on the background


i have tons to blog about,but i'm lazy.

Summary

(Friday)

• NCO briefing @ CCA Branch
• Reunion with Boon Lay,Deyi Band Leaders
• Basketball with Deon til evening
• Home,deadbeat.

Kally and I talked the whole journey like as if we have known each other for a long time.
Okay,and then i heard about their band overseas trip to Perak :/
*biting lips*

i hope our band will go smoothly to Hong Kong this late November (i doubt so)

And oh, coincidently i met my ex-boyfriend(Luke) at skatepark.
I was rather shy when i saw him at first. And he gave me his smile that would melt every girl's heart.
:D

He is still as handsome like before,
the boy who likes to hint on girls,
the boy who likes to show off towards girls with his oh-cool stuffs,
the boy who is a sweet talker,
& the boy who was my first-to-be boyfriend.

haha,old times.


(Saturday)

• OBS meeting with Mandy
• Mandy talks a lot.
• But I enjoy being with her
• Tried the Kent Ridge Trail thingy
• Got lost like 3 times
• Useless map!
• stupid barking dog!
• Weather damn hot
• Burning skin
• Camwhored?
• 5 hours of journey from West Coast-Habourfront
  
• Window-shopping at Vivocity ! :D

Luckily for us,we tried out the trail. If not,probably Mr Tan jj would bark at us if we hadn't.

My body are aching now like alhoqjklrncs!
Blisters on my pad foot.
Damn i hate that Adidas trekking shoes of mine.

Anyway,WE FINALLY DID IT! woo.
what a relief!

And the map tricked us like bullshiat.
We had to figure out on our own. The map is really useless i tell you.
shesh.

Okay,that's about it.
i'm bored.
bye.

Pictures on 25th

the angry momma


we rock!


monkey apes peace sign


Henderson Waves!


One.


pretty green plants


beautiful scenery


running away

photographer(c) shery

Hmmmmmmm,guess what happend today in school?
ELEVEN pupils were present out of 28 students.
cool huh?

And one thing super great news was i STONED during the two hours of art in class.
like wthzxzcdas!
i should have skipped school today.......

Anyhow, less than 10 people in my class are retained for next year.
AND THAT'S INCLUDING HAFIF!

WUAHAHAHA.

i am so happy! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD
bcos he doesn't have to be in the same class as me,making stupid noises anymore!
WOO.
someone please give me a smack on me face!

During morning assembly, Mr Peng approached me and saying that i have to see Mr Thomas tomorrow for some investigation.
I PANICKED LIKE CRAZY SIO
"eh! shyt ah. Mr Thomas want to see me! How ah?! shytshyt."
it's like as if i have done something very bad.
and i actually thought because of our class poor attendance and wanted to investigate more.
AND WHEREAS I DIDN'T ATTEND SCHOOL THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY,no MCs produced.
that's why i panicked.
LOL,

if Mr T. wanted feedback about the school and stuffs,
OHHH i think i have loads of things to talk about :D

Okayy,today i see so many sad faces ):
i feel sad when i see my friends sad too.
cheer up alright (:

i think life is always and very unfair-
okay this is so random. hahahhaha

EHHHHHHHHHH.
this song makes me happpyyyy! (:
(please watch!)

David Choi ft. Kina Grannis- My Time With You



i need a new guitarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! ):

Yes,i have changed my skin again.
Too simple but it's alright. And I like it.

IT'S LIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGREEN :D
wuahahah

Anyway,guess what i did last night?
I was feeling rather bored and not-in-the-mood-to-talk.
And this kind soul of mine here willing to play a game with me! We went crazy into MSN games! And we didn't know that it could be so much fun!
We tried almost all the games. Esp Nike Boxing game! LMAO.

Nice company to have you eh! (:

Sooooooo, for the past few days(4 days straight to be exact), I was stucked at home. I skipped school yesterday. I find it stupid to come back school after end-year exams. Most of the time,my class would just stare in the air doing nothing or sleeping or play a prank.

THAT IS SO BORING.
AND WILL RESULT IN FEELING BORED IN CLASS DOING NOTHING OR RATHER STONING AT EACH OTHER.
(as you all may know that my class is the most slackiest class ever)

So yup. And i guess tomorrow will be another session of stoning in class doing nothing . Gahhh~

I'm in a lazy mood. I don't bother to do anything.
And i have been bottling up my feelings this few days.
pfft,why should i tell you?

PEOPLE=EVIL CREATURES

I need a new guitar badly.
I need motivation to work on my music,
I need more inspirations,

AND

I
WANT
TO
SING!
BUT
I
CAN'T

):

okay,bye!



p.s : school sucks!
pps: i hate school!
ppps: i pretend that everybody don't exist in this world!

Just like Old Time Sake's

Her name is blacklisted

this people like to boast around,
i MEAN , really likeeeeeeeee to boast BIG!

"which i hate most."
pfft,but what can i do? it's in their blood.
And sometimes, i would prefer to just shut my ears and pretend they never exist.

WTFZXCZXCASEWQ!

I AM SO ANGRY LAH!
WHAT'S UP WITH PEOPLE NOWADAYS?!
MAKING IRRESPONSBILE DECISIONS
AS IF LIKE THERE'S NOTHING BUT A TOYFUL THINGY
YOU THINK THAT'S FUN TO PLAY?

BLOODY HELL .

I KNOW AH I AM AN IRRESPONSIBLE PERSON ALSO
AND THE FEELING TOTALLY SUCKS OKAY.

SORRY IF I MADE MISTAKES ALL THE TIME
I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT,
I KNOW,
I KNOW,
I KNOW.

WHATEVER
I DON'T THINK ANYONE OF YOU CARE WHETHER I APOLOGIZE OR NOT.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!
I'M HATING EVERYTHING SINGLE THING NOW.
BLOODY,BLOODY,BLOODY PEOPLE.

I DON'T TRUST ANY OF IT.
THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT.

EVIL CREATURE.

I'M NOT TRYING TO CATCH ATTENTION HERE AH.
BUT I SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET OFF FROM CHEST.
AND I ENDED UP HERE.
SO GET YOUR BLOODY ASS OUT OF HERE IF YOU THINK I AM OVERREACTING.

I DON'T NEED ANYBODY SYMPATHY OR CONCERN OR WHATEVER AH




zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
life sucks big times.

i want a new guitar,so that i could strum everyday.
think of the lyrics,music,emotions.

music express my feelings-everything.




My dream is to be a guitarist.

Circling my mind,makes me dizzy.
When will it put an end?
Is there a way to cure?
Or along the way,someone might just pop by
and says, Greetings! How are you?

wouldn't it be nice if someone ask, How is your day?
wouldn't it be nice if someone who is always there by you?
.
there is so much things in life
but it is possible to treasure it with your loved ones,if you know the way..

YABEDAAAAABEDOOOOOOOO!

guess what?

I CAN GO TO HONG KONG!
*excited*

and i got B4 for my malay :D
isn't that great?wuahah.
i don't wish to say about the bad news. egh!
okay,byeee!

i guess,
things are going to be different now.
I mean things ARE already different since the starting of the year.
I am being very stubborn with myself,that i hate to admit it that things are really changing.

I really hate when things change :/

I wish i could remain in the past and enjoying every moments of it.
But no,life has to go on.
I wouldn't want to be kept in the dark.
The feeling is horrbile okay.

I HAVE TO MOVE ON.
I HAVE TO SET MY MIND RIGHT.
I HAVE TO ADMIT IT.
.... - ADMIT!!!!!!!
(why can't i just admit it?!psht)

I am still alive in this world. And that life can be a wonderful and beautiful thing to go through regardless of any arguements,relationship,lifestyle,etc. If only,you really persevere.

Thank god I didn't cut myself to death
I realised after that there are so many things to explore in the this world and the things that i have been wanting to do since when my eyes were WIDE OPEN.

I,SO CAN'T WAIT TO GRADUATE FROM THIS ***** SCHOOL.
TWO YEARS FROM NOW ON.

Have i ever mentioned?
That, i have a very bad past memories.
it hurts me,every sec.

"whatever you did before in the past, will affect your presence/future"
it sounds so scary.
i start to shiver when Afiq Laadon shoot me with this phrase.
And it is happening to me right now,like wtf?

I hate the situation that i am in,
I hate the way how i treated my friends,
I hate every single words i say,
I hate this friendship of mine,
I don't like guys,
I hate the way how people appreciate me,
I hate my English,
I hate my @#^%&$ CO-MENTOR!
I hate the way life it is now,
I hate being a messenger(can i get fired?),
I hate that son of a bitch,
I hate to repeat myself,
I hate to be separated,
I hate when people accuse me anyhow,
I hate when things dumped everything to me,
I hate to feel sad,
I hate my facial expression,
I don't like going out with my family,
I hate my art,
I hate people getting attention and forget about their own friends,
I hate being lazy,
I hate studying like some freak,
I hate to be left alone,
I hate rejection(but i pretend that i don't really mind),
I hate............


but i love of what i am specially gifted.

Hmmmmmm.
Just shut up ah k.


Golden Pass train

OH! It was a very fine day until when...

i went out with THIS person,
WOU!
-SILENCE MOMENT-

THIS person is a nice and sweet person although I can see that he/she is super shy when i tried making conversations.
BUT ohh man, it was really superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr awkward.
Gosh! i gave up in the end.
I didn't mean to say this but, I REGRET.

Anyway, i watched Eagle Eye today :D (don't kill me Ee lin ><) And yes, it was great a movie. Although too much violence scene O.O until i jaw dropped til the end of the movie. School starts tomorrow. And what's up for tomorrow's Post-Exams-Activities? SEXUALITY/SEV survey-dunno-what-the-heck-is-this thingy.

I FEEL LIKE SKIPPING SCHOOL!
*screams*
darn it.

I wanna chill,
I wanna have wild funs,
I wanna go to the cafe,
I wanna go to the beach,
I wanna watch fashion shows,
I wanna rock my guitar,
I wanna go shopping,
I wanna a new guitar,
I wanna go Pandanon Island!
I wanna go clubbing(LOL!but it sounds fun),
I wanna have last long friendship with you-know-who's
(so that i could make a wedding gown for her! HAHAH)

I WANNA FREEDOM AND JUSTICE!

+

I WANNA QUIT THIS SCHOOL.


oh,one more thing. Leadership sucks big times! but worthwhile.
If that is you persevere,but i can't and i won't.
Well,maybe.
LOL.
I don't like to be pushy.
SO STOP IT.

good bye.
(and i like individual.)

i'm talking nonsense.

SO,GET LOST.

November rain

i never thought it would be so complicated back then-

when you want things the way you want it to be,you will get it eventually.

But things could get complicated when you don't take it seriously or when you don't put your fullest effort or when you don't make decisions responsibly or when you don't have commitment or when you don't set a goal/target for yourself or when you don't have the basics or ............
it could have many reasons..

Thinking back of what i have done, i seriously find it a very ridiculous mistake i'd made. I could never ever forget that. The scene just keep on replaying on my mind again and again, the moment i closed my eyes. It just too horrible for me to think back. It became my nightmare for every night.

And now, I'm afraid to face reality. I tend to avoid it whenever i can. But i know, i can't escape every time. I'll have to face it no matter what.

I don't cry. But my heart is crying deeply. (wow,i can't believe i just said that :D)




i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.



Probably i'm just thinking too much.
AND NO,i am NOT emo.
I am just expressing.
whatever you heck fellas think of me.
just shut up.
& goodbye.

oh drats! i screwed my art. And tomorrow's chemistry paper. gotta get distinction! MUGGGG!

p.s : thanks asyiqin for everything even though you don't read my blog (:

YOU MUST WATCH THIS!

although this guy is kinda cute and HOT.
but the way he sings it is sooooooooooo GAY!
HAHAHAHAHAH.



okay,that's it.
chao!