i guess,
things are going to be different now.
I mean things ARE already different since the starting of the year.
I am being very stubborn with myself,that i hate to admit it that things are really changing.

I really hate when things change :/

I wish i could remain in the past and enjoying every moments of it.
But no,life has to go on.
I wouldn't want to be kept in the dark.
The feeling is horrbile okay.

I HAVE TO MOVE ON.
I HAVE TO SET MY MIND RIGHT.
I HAVE TO ADMIT IT.
.... - ADMIT!!!!!!!
(why can't i just admit it?!psht)

I am still alive in this world. And that life can be a wonderful and beautiful thing to go through regardless of any arguements,relationship,lifestyle,etc. If only,you really persevere.

Thank god I didn't cut myself to death
I realised after that there are so many things to explore in the this world and the things that i have been wanting to do since when my eyes were WIDE OPEN.

I,SO CAN'T WAIT TO GRADUATE FROM THIS ***** SCHOOL.
TWO YEARS FROM NOW ON.

Have i ever mentioned?
That, i have a very bad past memories.
it hurts me,every sec.

"whatever you did before in the past, will affect your presence/future"
it sounds so scary.
i start to shiver when Afiq Laadon shoot me with this phrase.
And it is happening to me right now,like wtf?

I hate the situation that i am in,
I hate the way how i treated my friends,
I hate every single words i say,
I hate this friendship of mine,
I don't like guys,
I hate the way how people appreciate me,
I hate my English,
I hate my @#^%&$ CO-MENTOR!
I hate the way life it is now,
I hate being a messenger(can i get fired?),
I hate that son of a bitch,
I hate to repeat myself,
I hate to be separated,
I hate when people accuse me anyhow,
I hate when things dumped everything to me,
I hate to feel sad,
I hate my facial expression,
I don't like going out with my family,
I hate my art,
I hate people getting attention and forget about their own friends,
I hate being lazy,
I hate studying like some freak,
I hate to be left alone,
I hate rejection(but i pretend that i don't really mind),
I hate............


but i love of what i am specially gifted.

Hmmmmmm.
Just shut up ah k.


Golden Pass train