I was being such a fool,trying to pretend that it didn't matter to me.
I chose not to believe and turn it all around,
But after i knew it,the words came out totally wrong.
It wasn't what i had expected.
"What a silly goose mistake i made"

This isn't like me now.
I don't usually behave this way,
i hate it.
really much.

It's like five birds kill with one stone.-

I wouldn't want to have let you go,
embrace me til my last breath.


-

I've been struggling hard,
but why can't i draw those artistic-wild-creative design like other artists?

i have no idea where to start,
no ideas in mind,
tried to absorbed loads and loads of inspiration,
but still i couldn't come out with A DESIGN yet.
i suck at most things.
how can i succeed?

i felt insulted.
when people comment about my art.
who wouldn't?
(i know that's the way to improve myself)

i don't even show my masterpiece to my own friends.
Not even them.
So why should i allow the others to see?





-

I have two hours of Art lesson tomorrow.
I've drawn my final draft,but i think it still suck and not unique and it's all over the place!
I'm prepared to get all the harsh and straightforward respond from Mdm Rafilah.
After all, she's a damn good Art teacher.
Who you could joke and play around with.


And I''m going to stay up til 11.30pm ,again.






Band practice tomorrow.
I dread going for practice.
(blah)


Anyway, I'm so hooked onto this book called, 'Eclipse'.
I'm sure every one of you are familiar with this title.
I love the way the author describe in everything.
Oh,i fell in love with the author!

How i wish i owned EDWARD CULLEN.
wuahahah.

okay,goodbye.

I'm staying up til 11.30 pm

I gotta do something with my art final draft before getting kicked out from Art class tomorrow.
i still couldn't develop my ideas!!

okay seriously, this show makes me happy.
It made me laugh my ass off like there's no tomorrow.
I've finished watching all the seasons.
such a waste if you guys never watch it.

Six friends (Chandler,Monica,Joey,Phoebe,Rachel,Ross) live in the same apartment.
10 years of friendship.
Comedy and Romance.
i love it.

My elder brother says he's gonna buy all season 1-10 DVDs.
isn't that cool?!
hahah.

Did i ever mention to you?
That this year the band will be recruiting only seventeen sec ones?
in which that includes normal tech students.
i think this might be the 1st history in the band that we're recruiting normal tech students.
wow?

and and music camp is officially at the end of February.

-
since when have i ever talk about band in my blog?
shesh.
(look who's talking)
*evil grin*

CHANGELING IN THEATERS

[NC16]


Guess what? I watched 'Changeling' ,my very first NC16 movie! :D
HAHAH.
The ticketing lady doesn't believed me that i am sixteen.
oh,i feel sad.

The story was fabulous yet horrifying.
My eyes were wide opened.
My jaw dropped.
I felt too sad to even shed tears on my face!
And Angelina Jolie was the main actor!
Aw man, she did a really good job in there.

Okay i briefly tell you how the story goes like.
By the way, it's a TRUE story.

In 1920s
Christine Collins(Angelina.J) lost her son after she came back from work.
This LAPD, police department found her son after 2-5 months.
But she claimed that it wasn't her son when they founded him.
She confronted the LAPD about her missing son.
The LAPD refused to admit and sent the mother to some kind of psycho hospital.
*so cruel right?!*
(THIS WAS THE PART WHICH I GOT TOTALLY FREAKED OUT)
(AND OMGOSH LAH! PSYCHO PEOPLE ARE SO FREAKY)
blablabla..

okay stop.
i got totally freaked out and frightened by the movie.
my heart was beating very fast after it ended.

Anyway, i rate the movie 5 out of five!
*two thumbs up*

I recommend you guys to watch
(if any of you turns to be sixteen by now)
HAHAHA.






This was taken by Ishaq, my humanities partner.
He was playing with my phone and snapped this shot.
And i scored a lot of points in history essay!
woo!

I enjoyed maths lesson the most.
Because i love equations and Mrs Neo teachings and there is no pressure during her class!
I find it cool with me.

Wen Jie said that I was always busy doing my own-teaching rather than paying attention to what Mrs Neo had taught.
Oh right, that happens when i get to sit right at the back of the class with no one sitting beside me.
But at least i CAN focus and concentrate with no distractions from any of my hooligans classmatey.

Physics lesson has becoming more boring.
I don't know why, but yeah.
i don't get her jokes.
And Nicholas is seriously very annoying and immature.
Like HELLO?! He's SEVENTEEN for goodness sake!
i feel like giving him a smack in the face.

Ah crap, i have to get my final draft for my Art coursework after CNY.
I'm still lack of inspiration!!!
i can't develop my ideas......
all i have in my mind is soooooo outdated.

i'm dead.

Oh, happy chinese new year to all my chinese friends yah?
give me hangbaos hor.
;D

I can't seem to shake this awful feeling
You wore, you wore, you wore me out
And I can't believe

(c) My American Heart


And why do i always get the feeling of being very distance?
It surely would happen at the same time.
Adakah ini akibatnya?


And so i threw my thoughts into the sea
where no one would ever find..

One picture speaks a thousand of words



"Stand on your ground and stay strong girl."
(c)

i'm feeling so sucky right now.

so don't bother cheering me up or whatever.




This is guy name, AJ Rafael.
He's a damn talented musician.
A Filipino-american.
He goes to Berklee College of Music
He's my acoustic idol.

Go Youtube! search his name.
everybody's talking about him.

i have a cold shoulder now,mind you.


I'm cursing and cursing and cursing.
All the effort that i made for the past few months was nothing .
i repeat, N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
and you said, " Why i never see you do the job huh?"

__ you.


and why is everyone fading away?
it hurts,really.

Hello.



My birthday was two days ago.
9 January 1993
The day which i had to fall sick.
what a bad timing.

My birthday falls on Friday.
I spent myself the whole day at home resting.

I tell you this year was not the best birthday for me.
it sucks.

Although i get a hell loads of more than thirty(30) birthday wishes.
I had to check my phone for like err.. gazillion times!
am i being blessed?
HAHAH.

Anyway,i really thought that i had a VERY BAD birthday this year.
But these bunch of sweet good friends of mine brought MY birthday cake to my house doorstep and wished , "HAPPPPPY BIRTHDAY SERY!"
I was totally stunned.
I was in my uncool clothes with my sick face.
God, i was so embarrassed.
Deon should have warned me first!

Ugh.
But oh well, how sweet of them to dropped by house and celebrate.
I couldn't remember who was there.
Deon,Shaffiqa,Yi Xiu,Eelin,Gwen,Khai Seng,Farhan,Joanne,Glenn.

THANKS YOU GUYS!
really means alot to me.
and so thoughtful of you guys.
haha.

I STILL COULDN'T FINISH EATING ALL THE MUFFINS!!
zzz.

Yi Xiu , i love the seashells. Its lovely!
And what the hell? imported from Vietnam?
hahaha.

Vania,the Mr Bean is cool man.
i have been a fan of him since young.
HAHAH!

Adila and Zany, thanks for the er.. cute folder and the birthday song at the band room
LOL,so surprised.

Asyiqin,thanks for the little touchy-spikey bear!
And the Guitar drawing is cool!
i was trying to figure out what were you drawing and I SAW MY NAME!

and those who still owe me presents!
lol.

thankyouverymuch.




"HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!"

wow?i'm SIXTEEN.

I'M DONE WITH HOMEWORKS!

but yet, my art research is still undone.
and there's two hours of art lesson tomorrow.

I'm totally dead you know that?

i need ideas,
i need inspirations,
a lot,a lot,a lot more!

Have i ever told you that I have been coughing badly since after sec ONE orientation?
I almost lose my voice this morning,
and coughing for like the entire day.

Right, anyway i am suppose to go for SOMA(School Of Music Arts) open house this Saturday. Glenn had already registered for the booking. And my sister is taking me out for my birthday.
CRAP.

what am i going to do?
Chasing my dreams or celebrate my birthday with sister?
ahhhhhhhhh.


There's band practice tomorrow.
-.-

i bet we're gonna get nagged again.
i'm so sick of her


And oh, i am trying to speak fluent English.
not really fluent english though.
as in MY-WAY of fluent english.

HAHAH.

Denard said my voice is like different the way i used to talk,
and he said he likes that.

Okay, he's the second person to say that.
I,SCORES!

:D


(SIXTEEN in two days time)

These few days had been tiring for me.

Sec ONE orientation 09 was disappointingly not the most memorable one.
although it was a successed.
To me, it was a very-short orientation.

The best part was Mass Dance and Inter-class cheerings.

Eric is a cool guy (:
hahaha.

Kok Loon is a big bullier !

i hope i would bump into 1N1 juniors someday.
i suddenly missed them :/

Anyway, I've just gotten my OBS certificate and badge yesterday.
Boy, i am so proud to wear it on my uniform collar! :D
-

OUTWARD-BOUNDERS ROCK!

-
Today was my FIRST lesson in class.
and i realised that i became the senior of the school now.
Time flies with just a blink of an eye.

I sat right at the corner of the back of the class,
with Hisyam sitting in front of me, empty space on my right,a dull painted dusty wall on my left,two columns away from my close classmate.
how pathetic can i get?

But atleast i couldn't get distracted so easily.
OH! and from where i sit,awayyyyyyyyyyy from my (*) mates.
That's the good thing.
HAHAH.


And i think Mrs Teo isn't bad as i thought before.
She's a nice teacher,i think.

Okay,so i was like rushing myself to catch up all those topics that i had missed
for the past two days during class.
And i did yesterday's math and english homework within an hour!
am i superb or what?

Art lesson was so pressurizing.
i feel like slacking but i know i can't.
I must be out of my mind.

N level is like 8 months away.
And i have like 6 months to submit my coursework.
somebody please shake me!

i hate this feeling.
egh.

Life is always meant to be unfair.

Currently i am feeling so useless now.
I have to work my ass off for at least for ONE more year.
ENDURE!

One : I am taking two very major exams in my life.
Two: N levels in 8 months time
Three: I HAVE TO PASS MY MATHS!
Four: I'm useless to study
Five: I BLOODY SO WANTING TO GET OUT FROM THIS SCHOOL!


and if you dare asking me to not think too much,
i tell you,rather die.

I don't know what was wrong with me today


i totally shut myself for today's practice.
i wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone,
i talked,but not really into that conversation.

i kept myself occupied by reading this book called , "New Moon"
even zany who was sitting next to me 'joined' to read on the same book that i was reading.
haha.

i know i'm not suppose to read during practice or whatever.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY.

Today's practice really wakes me up under Wen xiang.
We sounded so much better and lively and more musicality.
i felt some goose bumps on my arms.

and i have to agree that she totally crushed our interests.
who agrees with me?


then suddenly.................................
i feel so empty.

i pretend that i don't even care about anything that's happening now.
all my efforts have been wasted.

i told myself that i don't want to do anything for today.
i just feel like being left alone by myself.





whyyyyyyyyyy?
whyyyyyyyy?

WHYYYYYY?!

i am so frustrated with myself when i keep thinking over and over again.
this sucks.

My mind strucked when Glenn asked what was on my mind?
i hadn't had a clue what was i thinking.
i just blurted out what hit me,unknowingly.


My mind was racing.
I couldn't think of anything.


I left band not the usual time i always do,
avoiding from people whom i know so well looking for me,
reading the book is an excuse while i'm alone.

because i wanted to be alone.

And for the fact that i told Yi Xiu was not an excuse of being alone.
i had something to do,really.
i'm still truthful to you (:

I dragged my feet to the doorstep,unwillingly to open the door,i dropped my keys..
i stared at the keys for 3 seconds and picked it up.

*stopped typing*

i don't know why i don't feel like spitting any words to anyone.
only those whom i'm comfortable with talking to.



AHHHH, i love band.
i can't stop pretending already.

i love playing music.
i will die if i stop playing music.
hohoho-




"You've got to break the rules if you're chasing your dreams,right?"


-

happy new year , 2009 !
( i felt weird on the 1st day of school)


HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY , KOH EE LIN!



i'm going SIXTEEN in a week's time!
wait for me babeh! :D




you will get your birthday present real soooooooooooooonnn!
so sorry ):