and i was like blah

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Location: Singapore

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Thursday, February 26, 2009


Oh, I'm so screwed.
I blew everything again.

I'm sorry.
But I did what's best and the right choice was.






TOMORROW'S MUSIC CAMP!
WOOHOO.

EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
STARGAZING LEH :D

Disadvantage:
one of our teacher in charge sleeping with us in a same room
-.-!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009






I'm just tired all day.
And I need books to read D:


Monday, February 23, 2009

This is all about life.
I have to be open to new things.
I have to accept the fact that things does changes in our lives.
Without this,our lives will be uneventful.

Everyone is moving on.
I have to.
I can't pretend anymore.

Joke of the day : " sallybababababababababababababababa"

Hahaha.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Woman who can't be moved..


I have done my maths homework.
I have done my chemistry homework.
I have yet to be done for my Art draft still.
I did a very horrible thing today, and it is against my religion.
No one will know except god-knows-what.

And i spent the rest of the day playing guitar.

Anyway, i told you that I'm getting myself a Denis Wick trumpet mouthpiece.
And I bought a 4E DW mouthpiece.
I don't know whether it suits me to use.
But I'll just give it a try.
Cost me 35 bucks okay!


Let me share something.

Whenever I listen to Fly on the wall by Miley Cyrus, i will imagine myself as a Successful Musician Artist like Hilary Duff. And all the paparazzi,expensive,branded clothes,luxury cars.
HAHAH.
(i think too far ahead)
Every kid can have a dream right?

One day, i WILL go to Los Angeles and New York.

I always admire Hilary Duff.
And oh! ANGELINA JOLIE TOO!.
WOWOO.


isn't she dead gorgeous?!

She's the BABE man.
strong,sexy humanitarian woman.


I'm making no sense here.
:D


Mr.M Cullen is not talking to me in MSN. -.-


Okay, I think I am drifting away from my cliques.
I feel annoyed.
Only Yi Xiu understands why.

When will this come to an endddddddd?
Or am I not ready for this?
Or I am just being me.
Or maybe I can't stand this feeling but I pretend that I can.

aya, stop being so strong la !


I'm losing a lot of people....
Slowly, they will drift away from our lives and found new ones of theirs.
ah,drama again.


hahahah.

I have three class test this week.
Chemistry & Physics falls on the same day.
OH GREAT!


Saturday, February 21, 2009




HAHAHAH.


WATCH IT!



Music Video playing
Akon- Beautiful

Friday, February 20, 2009

i feel great today you know that?
yayyyyyyyyyyyy.

Suddenly i have the urge to motivate people.
but I'm not good with words of encouragement.

Because i think we should do what we can.
We shouldn't let OUR band music go ruined by her.

I'm lost for words....

i don't know.

i think I'm a lousy player.
hmmm.

i really missed those great music we had before..
):

Are we even ready yet?


(look at my sock tan!)

sighs-
40 more days to Judgment Day.



I'm getting myself a Denis Wick trumpet mouthpiece for my own.
WOOT!

OH YEAH! I want to highlight some stuffs here.

YI XIU is the best lah.
despite all those awkward feelings(ops)
i love her every bits.
I feel so relief when i told her the stuffs that I've been keeping this long.
I mean like ,woah.
She does understand how i feel towards them.
And like i said, i feel GREAT about it.
At least someone knows how I've been feeling all this while.
And man, she is the right person to tell to.

i hope i won't eat back my words

My date with Mandy is canceled tomorrow!
SADDED LUH.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

The only person who is not moving forward into life.


I'm totally in love with acoustic.






Heading to the beach this Saturday!
Hoorayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.



Tuesday, February 17, 2009


While i am eating my dinner,might as well i blog.


Okay,so today Wan Ying didn't attend school today. I was kind of alone in class -.-
But anyway, at least i have Hwee Ling to get myself companied.
HAHAH

So during English lesson,we got back our letter writing.
And you know what?
i got a friggin' FIFTEEN over 30 for my 1st letter writing ever!

(!@$*%^!#

I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED.
I was expecting to get like a reasonable mark.
BUT, 15?!
i never get 15 in my upper secondary education life before!
Worst still, she failed my LANGUAGE!
O.O

And my 2nd letter writing was satisfying.
i got myself twenty.

BUT !?!?! FAILED LANGUAGE?!
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!?

okay,i don't like complaining or whining in my blog.
I sound wrong.
laugh-out-loud

Had PE lesson today.
Ran three rounds around the school.
i hate running.
Cos i'll end up having difficulty breathing.

Honestly,i don't like PE lesson.
But after when Mr J. Chia took our class, there's a lot of entertainment.
i like him a lot man.

I still remember the whole class had this Captain's Ball interclass competition (modified game) during one of the PE lessons.
It was like the whole class was participating for the first time and enjoying ourselves.
But this person had just ruined my mood.
I got hit hard on my face and i scolded the F word right after i got smacked.
okay, i never really scolded anyone in my secondary school life before.
This must be the first alright.

But it's alright, I'm so relief and i never regretted that.
:D

It's kind of annoying actually.
Wen Jie keeps on talking to me every lesson
(without fail i tell you!)
Especially when he feels bored. He would turn his back and tells me all about his life.
I do mind a little when I paid fully attention/reading a book.
But sometimes,its kind of nice listening to other people's lives.


Anyway, I'm reading this book called, " the perks of being a wallflower ."


Recommended by Emily.
Great book i must say!

what's my target?
I need to elaborate more on my essay writing.
I need to install new vocabulary into my brain cells.
I need to advanced myself of what i am currently doing.
I need to improve on my MATHS!
I hope to get TOP for every combined sciences class test.
Be optimistic!
COURSEWORK,COURSEWORK,COURSEWORK!
(Mdm Rafilah has high expectation on me)

so far, i have improved on HISTORY and SOCIAL STUDIES.
and i have no hope for my Malay Language.
hahahahah.

I'm reconsidering whether to join the open mic session :/


okay,i have finished eating my dinner now.
goodbye!

Monday, February 16, 2009

And oh, am i like being left behind?




And Mandy & I will sing with our hearts by the beach one day..



woohoo.

I have like 2 days left to finish up my drafts!
ugh.

So many things to do,so little time.


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Independent Woman.


I have to face the harshness of this life.
(Does that sound wrong?)

The fact that I'm am in absolute deeply thinking-minded, I have to stop it.
I have to accept the fact.
I have to face reality.
I can't expect things to happen like i always imagined.
Some things are not meant to be.
So,why do i have to hold it longer to see and to wait for something to happen?

I really treasure for friendship.
But they seems not,i guess.
Or maybe they're too focus on some things.
Or maybe it's just me.

Why is it so hard to talk stuffs like this?
Good friends though,
We're different people but we share same interests.

So i have to let it go,and move on.


Sometimes,it's best if i were to be alone so that it wouldn't hurt me.



OH!
Have i told you that i have a new haircut?
not really a new haircut though.
Just trimmed my hair.

Friday, February 13, 2009


I think I'm being over sensitive.
Yes,i am.

I should stop bothering.
I should stop thinking about it.
I should stop making unnecessarily sacrifices or whatever shiat.
I shouldn't care what they will say or comment me.
I shouldn't care how they gonna judge me.


I should just enjoy being me.

And now,my new life partner will be MUSIC.
(and of course,studies is my first priority)

I'm sleepy.
bye,bye.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

i hate Valentine's day this year.


You will never know even when your friend is feeling in pain.
You will never even bother to care about her feelings.
You will never bother to ask how was she feeling today?
You will never bother to ask how was today?

whyy?

happily laughing at your own jokes.

Am i that invisible and transparent to see?
Or rather i don't have a heart to feel for my own feelings?

Blood gushed through my face.
Tears filling in my eyes but i held back.
still staying strong.

And i realized that i am a very patience person.

Why is it am i feeling this way?
( I really don't know why.. Mr M.Cullen)



I think i'm feeling very emotional nowadays.
F. that

don't you dare telling me to cheer up
cos' not even any of you knows how i feel.

i feel ridiculous.
and then,i have to put a mask on my face again..and again.
give the widest smile that she could.
*smiles*

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

DANG!
I bleed my finger D:
Well,i was so happily plucking on the song 'More than words'
And then i got to know that my finger was bleeding.
woots.

I'm still trying very hard to learn plucking!
goshhhhhhhh.
I'm so in love with this song by AJ Rafael original, 'My Soldier'
(HAHAH. I'VE GOT THE CHORDS!)
yayness.


Anyway, I did 200 skips today.
That's for a start.
working on it,yah?

Oh,i had a very bad stomach ache this morning.
I was on the bus,and then it felt like as if somebody had pinched my stomach 360 degrees.
And headaches strikes! I felt dizzy for the whole morning.
At any moment i might just collapse.

Hmmmmm............
THREE HOURS OF ART TOMORROW!
GOSH!
TWO DRAFTS HAVE TO BE SUBMITTED NEXT WEEK.
DIEDIEDIE.

You know what?
I feel like I'm being left out apart from the world.
I feel like I'm this small >>>> '.'

I just feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel lonely at the moment ):
ew,i can't believe i just said that but yeah.
Recently I never get the chance to talk to my friends like we used to.

Vania
Ee lin
Shaffiqa,
Yi Xiu,
Khair,
MANDY!,
Azlin,
Hafiz,
Deon,
Qiao Sian!,
Audrey,
KENDRAAAAAA!,
(i hope i didn't left anyone out O.O)

is like our friendship is THIS CLOSE but now we're very far apart.
Only when we passed by each other and said," hello!"
and then walked off.
-.-
And i will have this weird feeling.

Okay, i missed Kendra the most.
HAHAH.
really,really.
The secrets we shared,the lame jokes,like how we teased each other,hayaaaaaaa.
GOSH I MISSED MY HORNY GIRLFRIEND LA.

oh well, everyone's getting busy each day.
O level this year.
In fact,most of my friends having their Os this year.
As i already expected.
We won't be able to get in contact that often.
sighs,

I can't imagine my life without them when I'm taking O level next year.
D:

I mean they're a bunch of wonderful and crazy friends i ever had!
They are the one who always brighten up my days.


gotta think positive man!
goodbye.



ohh! this is shooooooo cute :D

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I feel total transparent.



You're a strong,strong as a soldier..

lah,lah,lah.

Or maybe I'm too used to keeping everything by myself,
I'm hurt,yes really.
(officially)

I'm behaving in a sense of weird way.
Which is equivalent to SO-NOT-THE-SERY-ISH.
so sad,so sad.
TSK!
hahahah.


I want to learn finger style guitar ):
so coolio.

yay.
hahahah

"Showstopper,you are so hot
And i can't get you off my mind"

i love AJ RAFAEL! :D
i wish i could have a beautiful voice like youtube Victoria Lee & Alyssa Bernal.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I fell in love with 'My Soldier'


I'm in need of talking to someoneeeeeeeeeeeeee ):
but I don't bother to punch my fingers on the keypad phone.
(I'm soryyyyy!)


I've lost my mood.
I don't feel my heart going anywhere.
I could feel the sharp-pins poking through my stomach.
A Different Aura.
that's all i could describe.

I could feel the big distance between us.
I have always thought of it.
But do they have the same feeling as i do?
We're losing it..losing it.
I watched them so happily with other friends.. giggling away with their smiles on their faces
what about mine?
Have they ever thought about that?
We're invisible people or rather,strangers, from afar.
But we're _____ when we're together like we've known for 12 years.

I pretend to put a widest smile on my face every time.
I kept lying to myself that I'm physically okay.
But truly not.

yay,
I'm a sad girl now.


I've grown tired of every single thing.


I MISS THOSE SMILES ON OUR FACES.



HEY GUYS!
I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SHARE HERE.
read if you bother:

You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy.
Your life aim maybe is to serve the people.
But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs.

All your time is hold back for your friends and family.
You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency.

You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human.
But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny.

Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls.
You will have your own problems in your life.

Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it.
People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful.
They will play on you.

Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others .
Not everyone is created this way...
You are uniqe and rare!


So true.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


Today is just isn't my day.
(like i said Mr M. Cullen :D)

Had a Brass ensemble session with Mr Chia.
He is a great inspiration to me, in fact for the whole Brass section.
Sat on the double chair for 1 and a half hour went through our SYF pieces.

And i think she should change the tempo.
I mean,really,we should play it slightly faster. It makes us moving forward and lively rather than draaagging the song.
I know the Woodwinds are dying already because of their insanely full with sharps running notes all over the place.

But anyhow,jiayou woodwinds!
I'm so interested in their running notes.
Unlike trumpet parts, so PLAIN!
hahahah.

Who am i to brag about the composition?
There was one part that she made me feel insulted by her words.
f_.
THE BAND IS TOO LOUD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!


I want Mrs Chiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa badly.
):



"Like i said before,today is just isn't my day."

I'm being so UN-LIKE me.
I'm like some lost sheep is on the loose.
Or maybe i'm keeping everything to myself and it made me feel this way.
This s'h'ucks y'know.

Mr M. Cullen is the BEST listener friend i ever have man.
jangan kembang eh.
hahahah.

I need a new light bulb to be installed in my head.
so that i could wake up and feel bright to face reality.


I won't let history repeat again in my life,never.


OKAY, i'm reading a 'Bible' (Breaking Dawn)with thick pages covered up to 750 pages.
Oh,thanks Glenn for getting me this book that i'd been craving for.
STILL! SO EXPENSIVE!?!?!?!



I think i should just be busy on my own business.
Not caring about others or interfering them or anything that just comes in my way.


I have like so many things that i wanted to do.

Like brushing up on my photoshop skills,
explore photography,
advance myself on playing guitar and trumpet,
more time on studying,
Basic knowledge on Fashion Design,
be regularly fit,
Polish up on my ART,

.......

GAH! just too many.
I can't list it all out.

Anyhow, I had fun webcamming with my dear junior, Asyiqin!
YAY :D

she has always this wide-adorable-sweet smile that can make everyone's day happy.
REALLY,REALLY.
hahahah.


(c)

Mrs Chee gave me the Video Recording.
But there is no file inside the disc.
-.-

Tuesday, February 3, 2009



it isn't just an ordinary faded pink rose..


I don't really know what is going on right now.
I don't even consider myself that i still exist in this world.
Like as if i don't owned a heart,
heart with feelings,
heart with...sighs
why am i being so pessimistic?
f__.


And thanks Mr. M Cullen for being a great listening ear.

Started off with a bad morning .
I got really pissed off with Wan during Art lesson.
And he began accusing me for starting the argument.
Like i mean, WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!
I told him that he was blocking my way from the entrance door and supposingly they had to stand outside Art Class.
And then he raised his voice, " Asal dengan kau?!" - What's wrong with you?!
Surprisingly i managed to argue back with a satisfactory smile.
seriously,WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM!? not me.

Huh.

Three solid hours of Art lesson then.
Mdm Rafilah said i am not a good researcher.
and she laughed hysterically.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
oh shut up.
she's just making us go crazy.
i love her.
The Best Teacher in JVS.

fast forward >>>>>>>>>

I think I'm so engrossed into reading.
Ain't it getting thicker?!

I read every,before,after,during lesson.
hahahah.
(sarcastically)



BAND PRACTICE


i don't know.
i'm speechless.
But for sure i know that Jasmine and Zany and Deon knows that i always loves to hide behind the black stand when band practices starts.
:D

I'm exhausted.
I'm suffocating.
I'm frustrated.
I'm sick.

Oh, anyone wants the Video Recording?
the one that we did Marching Drills last Saturday.
Tag me.


"I feel something very suspicious which I'm not suppose to know now.
But must you really make it THAT obvious?
it hurt me.
But whatever."



ps: sorry if i sound like a no-life person for the past few posts.